Speak to Be Understood, Not to Win

Communication becomes unhealthy when every disagreement turns into a competition. Your partner is not an opponent you need to defeat. Healthy communication means being able to explain how you feel, listen to another perspective and work towards understanding. Sometimes the goal of a conversation should not be deciding who was right. The goal should simply be understanding what happened and what both people can do differently. Remember: Good communication creates room for honesty without creating fear. 5. CONFLICT RESOLUTION Fight the Problem, Not Each Other Conflict is normal in relationships. Destruction is not. A disagreement should not become an opportunity to insult, humiliate, threaten or deliberately hurt your partner. When conflict happens, identify the actual problem instead of attacking the person's character. Instead of: “You never care about me.” Try: “When this happened, I felt ignored. Can we talk about it?”